This week U.S. scientists said that it would be impossible for the Taliban to train monkeys to shoot machine guns. Thank you scientists for this realistic information that proves Zoo's were wrong in posting signs that read, "Please Do Not Give The Monkey's Machine Guns". The idea of Gun Slinging Murder Monkeys still gets our Car Balls nod, because in a perfect world, if monkey could use guns, we'd all be much safer.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
CAR BALLS OF THE WEEK: GUN SLINGING MURDER MONKEYS
This week U.S. scientists said that it would be impossible for the Taliban to train monkeys to shoot machine guns. Thank you scientists for this realistic information that proves Zoo's were wrong in posting signs that read, "Please Do Not Give The Monkey's Machine Guns". The idea of Gun Slinging Murder Monkeys still gets our Car Balls nod, because in a perfect world, if monkey could use guns, we'd all be much safer.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Nice TV / It Is It
"Yeah, that looks pretty good."
On a related note, This Guy (Willy Appelman) will be doing his last performance with It Is It tonight at Piano's in NYC. Get there if you can, it "Willy" be a great show!
On a related note, This Guy (Willy Appelman) will be doing his last performance with It Is It tonight at Piano's in NYC. Get there if you can, it "Willy" be a great show!
Friday, July 23, 2010
An exciting day in IKYCITB history
Well dear readers the day has finally come. I've said numerous times that since we started this blog, the prominence of Car Balls in the world of today had seemed to have declined...drastically. I had hardly, if even ONCE, seen an actual pair of "danglers" from below a bumper. Now I know there is a fair level of sarcasm inherent in this site, but I think, for serious, for absolute realiousness, forever, I have been converted. CarBallz4Lyfe.
My morning started as it always does – I had kissed my beautiful wife on her beautiful sleeping cheek, I had poured a the precisely measured amount of food into our dog's dish, and I had saluted the American Flag 50 times for all our glorious 50 states. Then, after donning my ceremonial American Flag robe around my nude body, ran 50 laps around our complex singing "God Bless America," to work off the 3700 calorie breakfast I, AS ALWAYS, ingested just moments before. By then it was 6:30, and the time had come to get into my Ford F-200, truck nutz included, and drive to my job at the construction site.
But LO AND BEHOLD what did I see?
ANOTHER TRUCK, SPORTING A GLORIOUS PAIR OF BALLS BELOW THE CHASSIS. I had to get closer, take a better look...
Who was this man leaving from the same complex as I? What was his name? When can we hang out at my favorite bar and drink Bud and eat Cheeseburgers the AMERICAN WAY?!
Closer and closer I drew...was this it? Could this be the one?!?!?!
Praise the Lord for I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed...BY THE HOLY GRAIL OF CAR BALLS.
End of blog, end of internet, good bye, it was nice knowing you all. Thank you all for the wonderful times we've shared, I look forward to seeing you all again in the afterlife.
My morning started as it always does – I had kissed my beautiful wife on her beautiful sleeping cheek, I had poured a the precisely measured amount of food into our dog's dish, and I had saluted the American Flag 50 times for all our glorious 50 states. Then, after donning my ceremonial American Flag robe around my nude body, ran 50 laps around our complex singing "God Bless America," to work off the 3700 calorie breakfast I, AS ALWAYS, ingested just moments before. By then it was 6:30, and the time had come to get into my Ford F-200, truck nutz included, and drive to my job at the construction site.
But LO AND BEHOLD what did I see?
ANOTHER TRUCK, SPORTING A GLORIOUS PAIR OF BALLS BELOW THE CHASSIS. I had to get closer, take a better look...
Who was this man leaving from the same complex as I? What was his name? When can we hang out at my favorite bar and drink Bud and eat Cheeseburgers the AMERICAN WAY?!
Closer and closer I drew...was this it? Could this be the one?!?!?!
Praise the Lord for I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed...BY THE HOLY GRAIL OF CAR BALLS.
End of blog, end of internet, good bye, it was nice knowing you all. Thank you all for the wonderful times we've shared, I look forward to seeing you all again in the afterlife.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
GUITARS PART II
A quick follow up to the "What Do You Name A Guitar" post, I just came across these basses which not only look BADASS, but incorporate an important part of the male anatomy into what we already know as a phallic extension of musicianship: The Balls.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
MAN ARRESTED FOR MONKEYS IN HIS PANTS
You know when you're in a hurry to catch a plane and the TSA pulls you over for a full body search? Don't you hate it when they find 18 endangered monkeys in your pants?! Yeah, me too. Monkey Balls.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THAT GUY!
On this special July day, a very special Michael was birthed to the earth. He wasn't the star of a 1996 movie about an Archangel and he didn't sing or dance when he exited the womb, he immediately BALLZ'D his doctor (no joke). Happpy Birthday Mr. That Guy! This is the closest IKYCITB could come to throwing you a party.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Happy Birthday To This Guy
Willy,
Thanks for being the only guy man enough to hang balls on the inside of your car.
Thanks for posting more often than I do. Thanks for keeping up with the comedy on a daily basis. Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you.
Thanks for being the only guy man enough to hang balls on the inside of your car.
Thanks for posting more often than I do. Thanks for keeping up with the comedy on a daily basis. Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
BALLZ'D
Here's a thing. Do something with it.
Disclaimer: We do not support or endorse anything Mel Gibson has said or done in the past 10 years.
Disclaimer: We do not support or endorse anything Mel Gibson has said or done in the past 10 years.
A Tribute
Never too late to say goodbye to a loved one. I had a dream that I was able to sit in on a Tim and Eric brainstorming session, and this was the one idea Richard had to bring to the table...T&E didn't think it was that funny.
Richard, thanks for invading my dreams and everything you've done to improve mankind with laughter.
www.actorricharddunn.com
weluvricharddunn.com
Richard, thanks for invading my dreams and everything you've done to improve mankind with laughter.www.actorricharddunn.com
weluvricharddunn.com
Saturday, July 3, 2010
TOUGH POST OF THE WEEK
Being Bruce Willis isn't easy, making a montage of him looking tough is. Happy Birthday America! ( via Daily What)
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