Car Died

Haven't spent much time looking at car balls lately, so I'm going to officially say "Probably won't post here again for a while, so don't hold your breath."

Go here instead.

Ballz'd Matchbox

Hey! Haven't posted in 10,000 years. Going to try to keep up with (but not guaranteeing that I will) posting more of these dumb Ballz'd images, so don't hold your breath.

AAA TRUCK NUTS

Thanks to the heads up from Mr. Tom Capps, this little video came to IKYCITB's attention. The downgrading of America's credit rating has a lot of people down. America is great at a lot of things, one thing that stands out- Truck Nuts. Check out this enjoyable video, that we enjoy whole heartedly. Well done Conan, well done America! (video here)

Maximum Strength 666

Man, allergies have really been kicking my balls lately. Let's see if I can harness the power of the Dark Lord to kick spring time in the balls with...

Bad Employee Episode 2

Bad Employee

Hey Car Ballers,

Hope things have been swinging high enough off the ground that they haven't been kicked! Here is the first installment of a web series about an unruly employee who just never stops kickin' her manager in the (metaphoric) balls. Enjoy the video HERE!

Car Dogz

Three months with no car balls. My fault. Moving to the big city is a lot of work, but got-damn has it made my life 8thousand times easier. Hopefully we'll be featuring a shit ton of car balls sightings in the near future, and if not then we'll have to think of something else probably.

While we wait for some photos to come in, check out this rad dog we saw driving in his escalade on Saturday, all rockin' some blue goggles and a jersey.


Additionally, there's a new Deep Traffic tonight at the Magnet Theatre, so if you like comedy and are in NYC you should probably go. There is a strong possibility of free pizza!

Just Add Balls

There's nothing like a warm greeting from another blog about balls to shine your turnip on a cold winter day. I don't know what that means, but check out this other blog our good friend Jon Pack (one half of Rue Brutalia) just linked to on Facebook.

Just. Add. Balls.

Happy Holiballs, Assholes!

Hey shit bag heads, no fucking apologies here for not posting a bunch of useless crap in the past who the hell gives a fuck.

Here's a great stock photo of Santa's balls.

Thanksgiving Car Balls

Here at IKYC we love Eating, Turkey and Eating Turkey. That's why Thanksgiving is such a great time to thank your car balls for everything that they have done for you. Not only have they attracted many curious onlookers, but they have also declared who you are to most of the world. You're a turkey loving, gun slinging Car Balls lover and we salute you. Now go eat some meat!

Product of the Week: BRA GAS MASK

It's not easy to escape a nuclear attack, but this Bra Gas Mask may be a step in the right direction.

And for men? Jock Gas Masks? Coming soon.

check out my new iPod

Car balls sightings of the week

Yes, sightingS. Two within one week, an ideal number.

The first pair was spotted on LIE 495 on Sunday. I managed to snap a couple crappy phone shots while swerving through traffic following this guy.

"I'm just trying to take a picture of your balls!"

The second came in moments ago from our lady on the street, Ms. Flying Buttress of Death Metal herself, Darth Bean.

"I'm also just trying to take a picture of your balls, but obviously with a phone that has a higher megapixel count while driving with regards to safety."

Deep Traffic @ Magnet Theater 8.31 8pm

Go to this!

CAR BALLS OF THE WEEK: GUN SLINGING MURDER MONKEYS

This week U.S. scientists said that it would be impossible for the Taliban to train monkeys to shoot machine guns. Thank you scientists for this realistic information that proves Zoo's were wrong in posting signs that read, "Please Do Not Give The Monkey's Machine Guns". The idea of Gun Slinging Murder Monkeys still gets our Car Balls nod, because in a perfect world, if monkey could use guns, we'd all be much safer.

Nice TV / It Is It

"Yeah, that looks pretty good."



On a related note, This Guy (Willy Appelman) will be doing his last performance with It Is It tonight at Piano's in NYC. Get there if you can, it "Willy" be a great show!

An exciting day in IKYCITB history

Well dear readers the day has finally come. I've said numerous times that since we started this blog, the prominence of Car Balls in the world of today had seemed to have declined...drastically. I had hardly, if even ONCE, seen an actual pair of "danglers" from below a bumper. Now I know there is a fair level of sarcasm inherent in this site, but I think, for serious, for absolute realiousness, forever, I have been converted. CarBallz4Lyfe.

My morning started as it always does – I had kissed my beautiful wife on her beautiful sleeping cheek, I had poured a the precisely measured amount of food into our dog's dish, and I had saluted the American Flag 50 times for all our glorious 50 states. Then, after donning my ceremonial American Flag robe around my nude body, ran 50 laps around our complex singing "God Bless America," to work off the 3700 calorie breakfast I, AS ALWAYS, ingested just moments before. By then it was 6:30, and the time had come to get into my Ford F-200, truck nutz included, and drive to my job at the construction site.

But LO AND BEHOLD what did I see?


ANOTHER TRUCK, SPORTING A GLORIOUS PAIR OF BALLS BELOW THE CHASSIS. I had to get closer, take a better look...

Who was this man leaving from the same complex as I? What was his name? When can we hang out at my favorite bar and drink Bud and eat Cheeseburgers the AMERICAN WAY?!


Closer and closer I drew...was this it? Could this be the one?!?!?!


Praise the Lord for I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed...BY THE HOLY GRAIL OF CAR BALLS.

End of blog, end of internet, good bye, it was nice knowing you all. Thank you all for the wonderful times we've shared, I look forward to seeing you all again in the afterlife.

GUITARS PART II

A quick follow up to the "What Do You Name A Guitar" post, I just came across these basses which not only look BADASS, but incorporate an important part of the male anatomy into what we already know as a phallic extension of musicianship: The Balls.

MAN ARRESTED FOR MONKEYS IN HIS PANTS

You know when you're in a hurry to catch a plane and the TSA pulls you over for a full body search? Don't you hate it when they find 18 endangered monkeys in your pants?! Yeah, me too. Monkey Balls.

Nice new camera!

Is that Geordi LaForge?