My morning started as it always does – I had kissed my beautiful wife on her beautiful sleeping cheek, I had poured a the precisely measured amount of food into our dog's dish, and I had saluted the American Flag 50 times for all our glorious 50 states. Then, after donning my ceremonial American Flag robe around my nude body, ran 50 laps around our complex singing "God Bless America," to work off the 3700 calorie breakfast I, AS ALWAYS, ingested just moments before. By then it was 6:30, and the time had come to get into my Ford F-200, truck nutz included, and drive to my job at the construction site.
But LO AND BEHOLD what did I see?
ANOTHER TRUCK, SPORTING A GLORIOUS PAIR OF BALLS BELOW THE CHASSIS. I had to get closer, take a better look...
Who was this man leaving from the same complex as I? What was his name? When can we hang out at my favorite bar and drink Bud and eat Cheeseburgers the AMERICAN WAY?!
Closer and closer I drew...was this it? Could this be the one?!?!?!
Praise the Lord for I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed...BY THE HOLY GRAIL OF CAR BALLS.
End of blog, end of internet, good bye, it was nice knowing you all. Thank you all for the wonderful times we've shared, I look forward to seeing you all again in the afterlife.
